About Me

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Kingwood Township, New Jersey, United States
Wonderful wife, Shirley, of more than 59 years; three children and four grandchildren; perennial chair of High School reunion committee, plenty of international travel; professional writing and plenty of avocational scribblings; great dogs and plenty of cats in residence in our St. Bee Kitty Rescue Society; member of New Jersey, New Hampshire, and United States Supreme Court Bars.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Marriage Advice -- from my Father

Marriage advice -- from my Father


When I was a young guy at about the time of my wedding with my dear bride, Shirley, my great Father called me aside to offer me some advice.

He said, " Son, what do you think a key to sharing in a marriage might be?"

I dully replied, "Maybe, doing your share."

Dad said, "Some people say that a marriage is a 49% -- 51% arrangement with one spouse having control."

I nodded, as if I understood.

Dad continued, "that's wrong."

I smiled and said, "I guess you mean marriage is supposed to be a 50% -- 50% deal in which each partner contributes equally to the success of the union."

Dad smiled and said, "that formulation is wrong, too, son."

Puzzled, I said, "OK, Dad, so what's the secret in your opinion?"

Dad quietly said, "You know, Sam, in my experience a marriage works best as a 51% -- 51% sharing.  You must always try to do more for your life partner than she is trying to do for you."

Another piece of sound advice that I've tried to follow these nearly 60 years of our marriage. I've not always succeeded but I've always tried to do what my dear Father tried to do.

This brief telling has been stored in my cache and brought out to share at propitious moments. I hope you find my Father's advice helpful, as I have. Be well -- SDC 

Thursday, March 27, 2025

joy of the day -- 03262025

Shirley and I riding west on Route 12 toward Frenchtown on our way to Catholic Charities in Phillipsburg.  We have just left our parish church, Our Lady of Victories, where we picked up surplus food donations to our parish food pantry to deliver to the strained larder resources in Phillipsburg.
We are faced by a huge snow squall.  The snow driven by high winds erupted from large, grey clouds which our hogback before our descent into the Frenchtown River Valley where the storm abruptly stopped.  We commented how nice it is to be together and to witness an early Spring "weather event."  How comfortable and cozy to be together. What a joy.

joy of the day -- 03242025

Shirley and I riding.  We passed a nearby field in which a new-sprouted crop gave the earth a look of a quivering green carpet.  Shirley said, seeing this will be today's entry in my book of joys.  I responded, hearing you say that will be my entry of joy for today.  Luv ya, SH -- SD